On paper, it should be bad at everything but it's actually so, so good. It will bulldoze through а waist deep bog and then, chase down a superbike whilst still flicking mud off the bodywork. You get on it, you want to hate it and yet when you get off you're like "Yup, I see what's with all the hype". It isn't just the best in the class, it is the reason the class exists in the first place. And thank God for rich people who are eccentric enough to insist that things like this exist

How do we explain this? It's wild power, coupled with stunningly sophisticated electronics, all wrapped in a silk suit that hardly hides the bulging muscle underneath. It's like a world-class MMA fighter who's beating you at math while he's actually beating you. It's glorious! Riding the big GS, there is no setting in which you feel anything less than the top dog.

Hugely powerful. Immensely powerful. The figures, although impressive, do it no justice. There are entire nations that have less power than this thing. It is also beautifully managed so you can actually use it. Need to just creep along at half a kilometer an hour? Easy! Need to overthrow a generational dictatorship in a third-world country - just hold the throttle open at a steady 80%.

It's a two-wheeled battlecruiser and it really shouldn't be this easy for it to do what it does. Exactly because it is that easy, you're unintimidated by the bike and left to enjoy carving through the terrain with it. And the rider aids work so brilliantly you forget they exist and start believing it's you who magically became so good. It tickles all of your senses right from the little bomb going off in the exhaust when you start it, through the ridiculous smoothness and rocket-like speed. It even looks funny with the amusingly lopsided face of a well-mannered Olympic wrestler.